The search engine query landed like an explosion on Twelve Mile Circle, hoping to uncover the ultimate in unlikely conspiracy theories, “Gary Coleman on the Grassy Knoll.”
Yet, the article you are reading right now is the first time that Mr. Coleman ever appeared on this blog. I couldn’t remember any other occasion, and I confirmed it with a quick search of every phrase published on this domain. So I may never know why or how the mysterious forces of the Intertubes thought that 12MC might provide a suitable solution. I can only thank whatever happy sparks of coincidence delivered this outlandish premise to my doorstep for my personal joy and amusement.
Yet, I did know one thing: I wanted to cement the status of 12MC as the top of the list should anyone ever again drop Gary Coleman on the Grassy Knoll into a search engine.
Really?
The primary concern with this supposition, as I saw it, was the very simple fact that Gary Coleman was born in 1968. Naturally, the John F. Kennedy assassination in Dallas, Texas — and the possibility of additional shooter(s) on the grassy knoll — happened in 1963. And yes, I realized that the query was more than likely posted by someone searching for the most ridiculous conspiracy theory imaginable, probably out of simple boredom just to see if anyone had ever made the claim before. However, that didn’t make it any less awesome. Maybe that made it more awesome. Would it even be possible to imagine something more outlandish?
It had been a long, tragic ride for Gary Coleman as he nosedived from his childhood starring role in Diff’rent Strokes all the way down to Midgets Vs. Mascots (also staring Ron Jeremy… I don’t even want to know) not long before his untimely death in 2010. I have visited the Grassy Knoll and unless Mr. Coleman somehow mastered interdimensional time travel, I’d say it would be fairly safe to assume that he didn’t play a role. Still, “Gary Coleman on the Grassy Knoll” remained my favorite 12MC query ever.
Ever!
Frequently Stolen
While we’re on the topic, my “Grassy Knoll at Dealey Plaza” photograph continues to hold the record as the most frequently stolen image on Twelve Mile Circle. It got so bad after awhile that I finally had to add that little tag-line at the bottom of the graphic to keep potential copyright violators at bay. That seemed to work.
Other Grassy Knolls
So it surprised me to find quite an abundance of roads in the United States named Grassy Knoll given the emotionally-charged nature of the phrase. Perhaps some of them predated 1963 although I didn’t know what to make of the others. A few Grassy Knolls included:
- Circle: Shreveport, Louisiana (map)
- Court: Woodbridge, Virginia (map)
- Drive: Tavares, Florida (map); South Bend, Indiana (map); Romeoville, Illinois (map)
- Lane: Raleigh, North Carolina (map); La Marque, Texas (map)
- Road: Gaffney, South Carolina (map)
- Terrace: Germantown, Maryland (map)
- Street: Las Vegas, Nevada (map)
- Way: Elk Grove, California (map)
I provided only one example per state, otherwise I’d probably still be recording and posting them. Most of these instances appeared in neighborhoods with bucolic themes, allowing Grassy Knoll to slip-in unnoticed within prevailing street names and norms. Some occurrences, speaking of conspiracies, might include subtly hidden references to the Kennedy assassination. Notably,
Grassy Knoll… Watergate… Some Say a Nixon Connection
- In Raleigh, North Carolina, Grassy Knoll Lane fell close to Daingerfield Drive. One could certainly characterize the grassy knoll as a “danger field.”
- In Tavares, Florida, a housing development included Grassy Knoll Drive and Waters Gate Drive. Some say (notice how I slipped-in “some say” the favored expression of baseless claims) that Richard Nixon was involved in the Kennedy assassination and subsequent coverup. Nixon, of course, met his downfall during the Watergate scandal.
- In Woodbridge, Virginia, Grassy Knoll Court bordered on Slippery Elm Court. President Kennedy rode down Elm Street in front of the Grassy Knoll on that fateful day!
.. or they could have been completely coincidental. But when has that ever stopped anyone from posting a reckless statement on the Internet? Never?
Rest in Peace, Mr. Coleman.
Completely Unrelated
Loyal reader Glenn noted that Napoleon and Wellington met at Waterloo east of Kansas City, Missouri.
Famously, Napoleon Bonaparte and Arthur Wellesley, the 1st Duke of Wellington met in battle at Waterloo, south of Brussels, Belgium in 1815. Now they continue to do so into perpetuity in Missouri. Glenn couldn’t find definitive evidence to prove that Waterloo, Missouri was named intentionally to fit the theme. However, it seemed too remarkable to be completely coincidental.
Is anyone aware of other contiguous towns named for a battle and its opposing combatants?
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