The Henley Royal Regatta is perhaps the most famous boat race in the world. It takes takes place each year along a particularly straight segment of the River Thames at Henley-on-Thames, England (map). This huge sporting event features world-class competition and serves as a primary attraction in the summer social season.
The regatta revels in superlatives. It involves huge crowds of spectators, several days of exciting races and upwards of two hundred individual competitions. International athletes of Olympics quality row for glory upon the waters of the Thames. No prize tops the Grand Challenge Cup. The winner of the men’s eights race wins the Cup, a tradition dating back to 1839.
No more attention will be placed on the Henley Royal Regatta today. I’m only interested in it tangentially. It helps one understand the context of my primary interest. Simply bear in mind the prestige of that the regatta on the River Thames. It is remarkable both for its level of sporting competition and its placement in high-society.
Henley-on-Todd?
So now let’s jump to the middle the Australian Outback, to Alice Springs in the Northern Territory. It’s dry, it’s remote and it doesn’t attract boatloads of Olympians searching for racing glory. I’m pretty sure that English high-society doesn’t include this on its annual circuit of social events either.
Nonetheless I’m certain the residents here consider it a perfectly fine place and will survive regardless. How should a town respond to this situation? By mocking it of course. That definitely earns a Twelve Mile Circle seal of approval. In that spirit, the Henley-on-Todd Regatta arose in 1962 and has been repeated every year thereafter for half a century.
Todd River
Alice Springs substitutes for Henley-on-Thames and the Todd River (map) replaces the River Thames. The Todd River? Most of the time it’s a dry riverbed. The Australian Government’s Bureau of Meteorology describes it as a 50 kilometre stream that receives 260 milimetres (about 10 inches) of rain each year. However, most of that water falls in spurts. So while the Todd may rage from time-to-time it’s usually bone dry.
People in Alice Springs have adjusted to an intermittent flood plain within their midst. Notice the causeway on Undoolya Road. It looks fairly ridiculous in this Street View image. How strange to see an odd elevated walkway crossing an open field. This simply indicates that the Street View car drove by when the Todd River wasn’t living up to its name, which is most of the time. However, the walkway takes on a more utilitarian purpose when the basin fills and the river surges to life. Then water flows swiftly across the roadway. From there it drains to the Hale River and eventually into Lake Eyre which has its own unique perspective on wet and dry cycles.
Holding the Regatta
The Henley-on-Todd Regatta does not rely upon water, in fact that would be a detriment. Vaguely boat-shaped objects with open bottoms race down the riverbed on human feet. There are fifteen racing categories including surf rescue, sand skis, bath tub derby and battle boat spectacular (“3 battle boats, powered by four wheel drives, churn through the sand bristling with flour mortars and high powered water cannons“). As many as 500 people compete. It sounds like something I’d enjoy if I ever got a chance to attend.
This tongue-in-cheek regatta has become “The Territory’s longest running iconic event.” It’s everything that the more-famous Henley Royal Regatta is not: casual; inclusive; and irreverent. One is more likely to see vikings and pirates milling about the crowd than stuffy dress codes.
The only thing that can ruin a Henley-on-Todd Regatta is water. The 1993 event had to be canceled when the Todd River unexpectedly ran wet.
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